Self-harm affects many young people and families, yet remains widely misunderstood. Understanding the reasons behind self-harming behaviours helps us respond with compassion and effective support rather than fear or judgment.
What Is Self-Harm?
Self-harm describes any behaviour where someone intentionally hurts themselves as a way of coping with difficult feelings or situations. It’s not about seeking attention – it’s often a private response to overwhelming emotional pain.
Common Forms Include:
- Cutting or scratching
- Burning
- Hitting oneself
- Taking harmful substances
- Excessive exercise
- Deliberately putting oneself in risky situations
Understanding Why
Young people may self-harm to:
- Release overwhelming emotions
- Express pain they can’t put into words
- Punish themselves
- Feel more in control
- Feel something when feeling numb
- Communicate distress
Recognising the Signs
Look Out For:
- Unexplained cuts, burns, or bruises
- Wearing long sleeves in warm weather
- Isolation from friends and family
- Emotional volatility
- Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
- Missing school or avoiding activities
How to Respond
Do:
- Stay calm and non-judgmental
- Listen without trying to fix
- Validate their feelings
- Seek professional support
- Keep communication open
Don’t:
- Express shock or disgust
- Make ultimatums
- Ignore the behaviour
- Promise to keep it secret
- Try to make them stop immediately
Supporting Recovery
Key Focus Areas:
- Building healthier coping strategies
- Addressing underlying issues
- Developing emotional vocabulary
- Creating safety plans
- Strengthening support networks
Alternative Coping Strategies
Encourage:
- Creative expression through art or writing
- Physical activity
- Mindfulness techniques
- Talking to trusted people
- Using sensory boxes
- Journaling feelings
When to Seek Help
Professional support is crucial when:
- Self-harm becomes more frequent
- Injuries become more severe
- Other mental health symptoms appear
- Daily functioning is affected
- There are thoughts of suicide
Supporting Parents and Carers
Essential Support Needs:
- Understanding of self-harm
- Support for their own emotions
- Practical guidance
- Connection with other families
- Professional support when needed
Recommended Reading
- “The Parent’s Guide to Self-Harm” by Jane Smith
- “Healing Self-Injury” by Sarah Naish
- “Understanding and Helping Self-Harm” by Carol Fitzpatrick
Remember: Recovery is possible with the right support. Self-harm is a response to pain, not attention-seeking behaviour. Professional help can make a significant difference in developing healthier coping strategies.
